I like your shoes.

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“I like your shoes,” these four little words were the end of a peaceful night for a few days ago.

I was out at Buffalo Wild Wings having a good bye drink with a friend that would no longer be working with me. There was a group of us all hanging out, laughing, talking, having a good time. I was starving so I was eating some food, I had just one beer and some food so I could be the DD if people needed it.

One part of being both a DD and being a good girlfriend is to go with your girlfriends when they have to go to the bathroom, regardless of you need to pee. It doesn’t happen every time, and it doesn’t happen with every set of girlfriends, but when they say let’s go to the bathroom, you go. You can fight and protest, but in the end they will win. The problem with this is that the more they keep drinking the more times they have to pee and you have the option of taking notes on what not to wear in the restroom. Maybe some phone numbers if you’re really bored. Or trying to figure out what the names scratched in the bathroom door are actually trying to say. Is that a person or a pet name? Hmmm……

On one such trip to the bathroom I noticed a guy by us wearing some sweet red and white classic Chuck Taylor All Star low top sneakers. I love Chuck Taylors. Not like but LOVE these shoes. I hope to own the rainbow in the low top classic style one day. So I said, “I like your shoes,” and continued walking to the bathroom.

As I walked away I hear, “I like you.”

I rolled my eyes and in my head was like alright? My friend I was going to the bathroom with was like dude, you NEVER tell a guy you don’t know you like his shoes? I was like what? Why? She’s like you just don’t.

I quickly learned why.

My friend and I get back to the tables/our group of friends. This guy that I said I liked his shoes keeps talking and saying random stuff.

First it starts off with little like whistles, and noises, and hey, hey, hi, yo, hey, grunts, throat clearning, those kinds o f noise. This was not working so he choose a different method.

A friend had had a Cowboy’s baseball hat on the table which I decided to put on for no reason and the guy start to go: Yo cowboy, cowboy, hey cowboy, hey with the hat, you like football, football, cowboy hey…..

This wasn’t working so he starts randomly spouting off names: Hey Jessica, Julie, Jennifer, Sarah, Samantha, Liz, Lindsay ……

He then starts saying stuff like he wants to get married, have a house, have kids, have a family, have a dog, his likes before reverting back to the random names.  Mary, Joanna, Kelly, Suzie….

By this point, I’m pissed. Really? I’m clearly not acknowledging you and you’re going to keep harassing me? Really? So I turn to him and tell him, “Well I don’t want any of those things so good luck.”

Mistake.  I allowed him to know that he had gotten my attention.

He was like so what name was it? Lisa?

“No, I just don’t want any of those things so there is no point in talking.”

“You don’t want kids?”

“Nope.”

 “Well why don’t you come over here and talk for 5 minutes?”

“I don’t want to talk, I am out with my friends, I’m good thanks.”

“Which one of these dues are you with?”

“I’m not with any of them.”

“Then why don’t you come over here for a few minutes?”

“Because, I’m out with my friends, we’re just chilling and hanging out. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to hang out. I’m out to have a good time and I’m not interested.”

So at this point I get up a move chairs further away from the guys further in our group of friends. They continues to random try and get my attention and say stuff, but being further out of ear shot it doesn’t bother me. Plus, now people see I’m pissed, and seeing as there are about, 4 of those guys and about 10 of my guy friends, I’m like it’s okay, they’re just being a jerks. We don’t need to start something.

The shoe guy and his friends eventually leave, I hang out with my friends and resume having a good time.

I just was so frustrated. There were a three things that I sat and ponder. First, has that tactic ever worked with another girl before? If so, I would like to meet her and personally punch her in the face. She has made the already complicated and stupid world of interacting with the opposite sex even harder. Thanks you stupid ______.

Second, really dude? Why are you still talking to me and I’m so clearly giving you the cold shoulder. Is your life so boring you want to keep trying? Does it amuse you to make people feel uncomfortable? I said nice shoes, I didn’t say please I want you in my pants. Or, please let’s have a conversation.

Third, just really? Really? Is that what you do to start conversations with people? Just spout randomness and hope it happens? Stupid.