Unplanned Adventure

***Warning, this blog post gets a little graphic***

Oh, where to begin. The other night I had an adventure and I didn’t even know it was coming.

I completed my day job and headed over to work a shift in the restaurant. I was excited because I wasn’t closing. I had plenty of errands to run with the holiday season and this was going to give me some free time.

The shift started off like normal, doing side work, saying hi to fellow co-workers, trying to stay busy. I had a total of 3 tables all night so I wasn’t that busy. It was actually a good thing because I started to have some discomfort in my lower abdomen. The urge to pee increased and when I did go it kind of felt like I was peeing fire. Not good. These symptoms are classic signs of a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection) on the way.

I’ve had UTI’s before, and they go from minor annoyance to full blown blood in my pee within just a few hours. If you have never experienced the joys of a UTI here’s some fun facts. Like once you have peed, you hold your breath for a few seconds after you’ve finished trying to feel some relief and get the pain under control. The urge to pee hits with the desire of chugging a gallon of water. The amount actually peed is like a table spoon. Suffice to say, the first time I had one of these I thought I was dying.

It kind of makes me stop and wonder how people dealt with them in the past before taking a pill for a few days would make you feel better. Most of the time taking the pills makes things better within the first few hours.  

Anyway, I see the signs, I know I’m in trouble and I have to get out of the restaurant go to a urgent care places so I don’t have to go to the ER. Being around 7:30pm when I cannot deny what was going on, the doctor’s office is clearly closed. I know I couldn’t wait for the morning and I wouldn’t get any sleep or be able to make it through a night without help.

I cleaned my tables, turn in my money and paperwork for the evening and headed over to the urgent care office.

When I went through the door, I’m the only one there. The lady at the front desk say, “Hello! How are you doing?”

I tell her, “Fine. Wait, no I’m not. If I was fine, I wouldn’t be here. So I’m lying. I’m a liar. How are you?”

She was laughing at this point and she’s like “I’m doing fine and I’m not lying.”

“Glad to hear. Plus you’re not a liar, or I don’t think you are so that is good. So, I would say that I’ve seen better days.”

We go through some paper work. I have to wait for another lady to call me over and talk to talk about paying. While I wait, I watch Cartoon Network. They have a show on called “The Annoying Orange.” What have you done Cartoon Network? I felt so old at that moment. Grant it, I don’t have cable, but what is this crap? How can people watch this show? Am I turning, gulp, into an adult? Is this what my parents thought when they have to watch our cartoons? No wonder they wanted the news, this stuff sucked.

After being told about HIPPA and signing some things and paying a co-pay, I sat down to watch some more bad cartoons.  

I got called back to review my medical information and have my vitals taken. They start off with, “Hello, how are you doing today?”

Again, I start off with “Fine, wait, no, I’m here, so I’m not fine, I’ve been better.”

They giggle. I’m pretty sure they heard my little rant earlier. Again, not many people were in the office and my voices carries.

They take all the vital information down and I moved onto the next step, the joy of peeing in a cup. Every time this happens I always envy boys. I feel like it just has to be easier for them, then it is me. 

I gave them my “sample” and am told I can go back to my room to wait. I’m like….what room? The lady remembers I haven’t been to one so she brought me to a room where I get to wait for a little while before the doctors comes in.

The doctor arrived and she confirmed, yup, UTI. Go me! I give myself the best presents. We talked a little and then she told me she was giving me an antibiotic and a pain pill. This pain pill will make my pee change colors which is normal. The antibiotic take in the morning and at dinner time not with milk. With that, she gave me the prescriptions and sends me on my way. All in all the staff was really nice and it only took about 45 minutes.

I’m still in pain though; I have to get these pills filled. I go to Kroger. I don’t know what pharmacy is open right now so rush to the nearest Kroger. It also doesn’t help I haven’t moved my clock back so at first glance it is like 10:10pm, when in reality it is only 9:10pm. The pharmacy was still open. They take my prescription and tell me about 20-25 minutes. I had been talking with a friend and she came to join me for some late night grocery shopping, talk, and just hang out for a little bit. Not super exciting but hey, it works. We went up and down the aisles, getting things for dinner, talking about randomness. Halfway through the store we go back to the pharmacy and pick up my pills.

The pharmacists again emphasizes how the pain pills should be taken with food. Also, they will probably make my pee turn colors. Only be worried if it is neon colored. I thanked them for their help.

I have to pee again, boo.

After I’m done suffering, even though I’ve been told by the doctor and the pharmacist to take the antibiotic in the morning, I go ahead and take one of the pills.

After about another 10 minutes of wandering around Kroger I decided that, I’m still in pain, I should take one of the pain pills. That is why I have one, to help with the pain. The pharmacist said to take that pill with food, I hadn’t eaten dinner yet, but it will be okay.

Another 10 minutes go by, I was starving and those pills aren’t sitting right. I’m the new mission was to find something quick and eatable to shove in my face  and not as much about worrying about what was left on my list.

They had once slice of pizza left in a box in the weird warming food area. I open the box right in the store and started to take a few bites. It was some of the worst pizza that I’ve ever tasted, however, I was hungry. We got the last few items on our lists and started to go check out.

I turned pale. My friend was like are you okay. I’m like no.. I don’t feel so good, I think I might puke. She was like go to the bathroom, go now. I hesitated only long enough to feel that pre-puke sign of your mouth watering. I don’t know if everyone else’s mouth waters before they puke but mine does.

I was running to the bathroom. Through the hall, around the corner, in the bathroom, in a stall, shut the door. Explosion.

This was like exorcists, projectile, type stuff. It went mostly in the bowl but there was some random spray on the toilet seat. Any water that I had drank and the few bites of pizza from the last few minutes were coming back up. Probably even a little bit of lunch.

Okay, everyone’s puked before no big deal.

It was bright yellow/light orange. All I could think of was that I was Yellow Bastard from the Sin City Movie.

The puke was yellow, the spit was yellow, whatever snot was in my nose was yellow. Apparently half digested pain pills that turn your pee funny colors did the same thing with all things liquid in a person’s body.

It looked like someone had killed a yellow crayon and it bled all over that poor toilet. After three courtesy flushes the water was back to normal clear. I cleaned up the seat and everything as much as possible but it still had a hint of yellow to it.

I returned back to the main part of the store. My friend told me I looked a little rough, and was still pale. A few minutes later the color returned to my face. Once we were at our cars I told her what had just happened and she laughed.

I don’t know why I took the pain pill. I have a hard time with pain pills anyways. Most of them actually. It seems like all prescription pain pills not over the counter make me do exactly what this one did., projectile vomit all over the place. This time was more amusing then most because it was yellow.

The good news is that I am feeling better now and should be good to go in a few days. The pain is already going away.

Do pain pills make you puke? Let me know. Leave a comment below or on the Facebook Fan page. Thanks!