What Is That?!?!?!

"Image courtesy of "Stuart Miles" / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

What is that!?!?  

Poke.

Poke.

Poke. Taking hand and covering it up.

Side boob? Are my armpits fat? Kind of? Can I cut it off? How much would that hurt? Are the knives in housewares that far off? Can if fix that? Is that side bigger than the other side?

Yesterday's lunch hour was spent at my least favorite task, bra shopping.

Now, I know these are necessary evil. One, no one likes THO, (Titty Hard On) except maybe guys. Two, the right bra not only makes you look good, but also feel good as well.

This, however, was not the case yesterday.

My trip wasn't for pleasure. It was out of desperate need. All of my bras at home were either falling apart, had bent wires, kept poking in the side boob, were falling off, or just plain ugly. I had to go shopping.

Now, most guys, will never experience the horror that is bra shopping.

I hate it so much I would rather go swimsuit shopping.

Yes, I did just say that. Swim. Suit. Shopping. Would be better than bra shopping.


This is such a taxing event because you HAVE to have these, and they are never just oh, I'm this size, pick it up and you're good to go like you do with socks, under ware and t-shirts. Every one of these devices have to be put on. Even if they come in a paired two pack.

Not only are you putting on these mini torture devices on and off, but you're doing so in front of a mirror.

Yeah? Your point?

No one puts on bras at home in front of the mirror, or go though like 20-30 other ones. Not only are you randomly looking at other parts going man, I wish this was flatter, or that didn't look like that, or where did that bruise come from, you're noticing new things that you've been able to ignore since the last bra shopping, oh you know, like top side boob thing.

I know every girl had them, except for maybe super skinny people or something, but trying on so many different kinds of bras, at different size, because I've also changed sizes to add to the fun, points out this body part, or probably the better term is location, that I ignore every other day. Especially when you put on a bra that is too small and go what in the world has this done to me? If you're blessed with C or D cups, a too small bra just kind of giggles out the top. For us smaller chested ladies, it just does some weird flattening creepy thing. Not good.

On bra shopping day, this body party thing, is not only shoved in your face, but it is accented by the light, the possible new bras, and the mean chick inside of your head.

I tried on white bras, black bras, ones with patterns, low cut, demi cup, plunging cleavage, push up, strapless, wide straps, pink, green, basically, you name it, in about a 30 minute time span I put them all on.

The good news, is that I actually haven't, at least for a normal bra, gone down in cup size. Earlier this month when buying a new sports bra, the sales lady took my measurements and said I went down to an A cup. Talk about being bummed out for the next 3 days. =(

By the time this frenzy was all over and done. I went to check out. The sales lady is like you look tired. I told her I hate buying bras. She gave me a sad sympathetic look and checked me out.

Once I got back to work I took a few minutes to find out what I can to do possibly get rid of this upper side boob thing with out the aid of a knife. This like is what I found. Tonight, I'm trying all the exercises. We'll see what happens in a month.

Exercise That Tightens & Firms Breast Muscles by by Mary Ylisela, Demand Media, from the website azcentral.com