Over Whelmed

So this year has been a little crazy for me, I had the honor and privilege of getting married to New Dude.

That being said there was an engagement, bridal showers, girls weekend, dress shopping, wedding, honeymoon, and all the excitement and stress that comes along with that.

Add in our cute little new fur baby, Teach joining our family. Now that everything is done, we're still continuing of with events for friends, family, and soon to be the holidays.

This isn't a post to brag or a post complain, it's a post to say that I'm exhausted. I am also writing it confess about my lack of ability to make decisions, complete tasks and daily goals have been stunted. I cannot seem to follow through with them.

I could be laying in bed with my running shoes, knee braces, all my workout clothes and still crawl back into bed and hit the alarm for another hour.

I have wasted a weekend on the couch, stayed up late during the week doing nothing, and all I get is regret and nowhere.

I think part of it is still transitioning into married life and the slightly differences it is between dating and engaged life. Thought not too much different, we've been living together for several years, there are still some differences.

Talking with New Dude the other night I confessed to him the strange mantra I have going in my head, not daily, but more often than not. Its the same thought that I'm both currently the youngest I'll ever be again and the oldest I've ever been. It's an odd mantra right? Maybe this is the clock that everyone talks about? Feeling the pressure of time? I lean towards not only because I've always kind of had my own time-line, why would I feel the pressure for that now? Could be though.

Another thought was that I have to clock and justify every 15 minute increments while at work and have been doing so for about 5 or 6 months now. Maybe the constant review and checking of the clock  is subconsciously causing a heightened sense time passing.

Another pride point for me was my lack of fear of failing. I know a few people in my life who are so afraid of failing they don't even try or attempt to try new items/things/life changes. Well, maybe the pride came before the fall and now I've hit the fall part?

I'm not sure, but I'm working on it and through it. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know with a comment below, I'd appreciate it.