Burses of Honor

Over the weekend I went and crossed off a bucket list item of mine. Paintballing. If you have never gone before you have GOT to go!

This adventure started a bit earlier in the morning than I would have liked, but having to work later in the day, I’ll lose some sleep to try something new. I meet up with one of my friend; we’ll call her J., to car pool to the location. The drive up was beautiful and scenic; the conversation was light and fun.

My nervous had been doing well the whole trip, until we turned onto the road where the paintball was located. Then my stomach dropped to my knees. I had to keep reminding myself that I put on my big girl pants on this morning, so suck it up and do it! (Side note, there are figurative pants, I haven’t found or created actual big girl pants, yet.)

We pulled into the little parking area and went to go talk to the guy in charge. He was standing next to a sign that has a map of the area, which I cannot really figure out what it was telling me. He had us sign a waver saying we can and will get hurt and we cannot sue them for it. I love the fact more of my adventures involve wavers and helmets. It seems like a good indication of fun. The area behind him is covered with a big net, kind of like what you’d see in a bird sanctuary. It’s to keep stray paint balls form hitting bystanders and cars.

While we wait for our other party members to arrive we ask him how this whole paintball thing works. He explains that you load your paintballs into a thing on top of the gun, called a hopper. The paintballs will drop into your gun as you fire. The gun is powered with CO2. The closer you are to when it goes off the more it hurts. When you are ready to shoot you take the safety off and you are good to go. A mask is required the entire time you are in the play area. This mask, makes you feel bad ass as soon as you put it on. (My words not his) The game style is kind of like License to Kill from the game Golden Eye for N64. Once you are hit with a paintball and it explodes then you’re out. Fair hits are anywhere, including your head and your gun. He actually said that aiming for the face mask is a good idea because it is more likely to burst. Wonderful.

Our other people arrive and I go and get dressed. I’m put on some bibs, and for those of you like me who had no idea what that word was until about 8 months ago was, or overalls, and a long sleeve shirt. We get our paintballs, guns, and mask and wait for the game to start. A short safety lesson later I’m walking into the woods going what in the world am I suppose to do? We’re in teams and one starts on one side of this wooded area and we’re on the other. The referee says are you ready? I’m like no, but we start anyways.

At this point, my brain is racing. I’ve never been shot at before. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do besides try and shoot the other team. I go and hide behind a tree. It seemed like the right thing to do. I am also wishing I played more first person shooter video games. I feel like those skills would be helpful right now. I’m looking around trying to see people when all of a sudden someone’s shooting at me. I hear the balls bouncing off the tree, whizzing by me and I’m like this is crazy! I’m hit in the leg and out 30 seconds later. I raise my gun, yell shot and walk towards the area we started in. Slowly the rest of my team and other people head over. The round is over. That was cool.

The second round, is kind of like the first, I have no idea what to do. I kind of go and hide from one tree to another. I keep randomly shooting at people or at least in their direction. This time when I’m shot it is in the mask. The good news is that the paint doesn’t taste that bad.

While I’m waiting for the rest of the people to slowly make their way over I’m realizing just how many soft spots are on your body. I start to wonder about how it would hurt to be shot in the neck, inner arm, inner leg, belly, side, back, love handles, you know what, I’ve got soft spots all over the place! This is the part when I realize that I like the idea of my bibs. It might be a little red neck but I at least have some protection for my soft belly!

We play a few more rounds. By this point I have a little bit more confidence and feel alright with trying to run to other trees to get closer to the other team. Bunkering down behind one tree and having them come to me hadn’t been working out. I did get shot in the arm at one point and yelled I’m shot. But then I looked down and realized the ball didn’t break so I asked the referee if I could keep playing and he said yes. That round I think I shot one person.

We ended up having to leave before I was fully exhausted because of work. However, it was an amazing time. I was starting to become more aggressive. I was learning more about moves, flanking people, and not worrying about if it would hurt. I even have the honor badges of two burses, which are actually quite big. One burse is on my arm and one on my leg.

In conclusion, everyone should try this sport. It doesn’t hurt that bad. The adrelin rush you get is awesome. When shot, make sure to look to see if the paintball exploded before yelling shot. Have fun and happy adventuring!  

Canada Eh?

I recently went on a trip to visit some family in the great country of Canada. For those who have never been, it is quite a beautiful country, and yes, they do say Eh just as much as we say ya’ll.

We played a lot of compare and contrast while over there. Here are a couple of random facts and fun things that I saw while over there.

1.       In our hotel room we had a don’t put hangers on the sprinkler system. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve never seen a sprinkler that low or just never paid attention, but I was amuzed.

2.       Most milk is sold in bags.

3.       Looks at their buses! I mean, I know in NYC they had long buses connected together, but you could walk between the two parts, not this one. It’s like mini train.

4.       Everything is more expensive there.

5.       You cannot tell, but their little cross walk guy has feet.

6.       The drinking age is 19.

7.       Traffic cones are Black and Orange. Just a bit different. I wanted to take one home but thought it might be hard to explain at the bored crossing.

8.       Where else do you get to hang out with Mounties?

9.       If you win the lottery you do not have to pay taxes on your winnings. If you win $1million dollars you get all of it.

10.   I’m not sure if this sign is real or not but it is very cool.

11.   Their bathrooms are called Washrooms. You’re also not suppose to take pictures in Casinos(that’s where this picture is from ).

12.   Their heads do not bob back and forth like shown on South Park.

13.   Mail boxes are red.

14.   Their one dollar are coins called Loonies and two dollars are coins called Toonies
15.   Share the road sign for all my biker friends.

If you get a chance go check out Canada. Make sure you talk nicely to the border crossing people, bring a passport, and have lots of fun!

Dominos are backstabbers.

Last night I had a crazy dream. Most of my dreams are pretty crazy, but this one had me hitting the snooze to try and figure out what would happen next. The characters are getting fuzzier in my head as the day goes along. What I do remember is that I was younger, like 12, and was with a boy and a girl. We were running from what felt like a big organization. Kind of like running form a Mob Boss or something like that. I remember we kept just trying to get away, running through cities, going through towns, hiding in the woods. We just wanted to get as far away as possible.

A few times we sat hiding in some empty warehouse, or behind a big fallen log in the woods. The goons that were after us always seemed to be really close to us. As we were on this flight we asked a few people for help. Sometimes it was for money, sometimes food or a ride. Most of the time people helped in some small way.

The last part, before I woke up, the three of us where close to a location that we thought would be safe. I remember it being dark with lots of empty train box cars around. The other girl and I were setting up a camp for the night when the Dominos Pizza Delivery people, who had helped us by giving us a ride earlier showed up. I think the girl and I were tazed and the boy, who had been collecting wood or something, was running back towards us. As we lay twitching on the ground a big car came by and swooped up the boy and sped away.

Lying on the cold wet ground unable to control the spasms in our limbs we saw the thin, zit faced, willow of a young man shrinking back towards his car. The Domino light softly glowing, in the near darkness.  He had his head down, shoulders slumped, pity in his eyes and almost an apology on his lips. He’s brought us or notified the people to take the boy away. It was his fault that the boy was now gone. We knew it and he knew we knew it. Like a rat he crawled away.

By this time I had about 20 minutes to get ready for work, so I had to get up and go to work. I think the funniest thing about this whole dream is the glowing Dominos sign. I don’t even have anything against Dominos, yet it’s there in my dream.

Beware of zit faces Domino drivers apparently. Ha!  

All Aboard!

When creating this blog, I figured some of the stories told will be ones that I’ve just experienced and others are about past adventures. Today’s story is about my last train trip.

For those of you who have never taken a train long distance, you really should, if money and time allows you too. It usually takes a little longer, depending on where you’re going, than driving in a car. It is quite a great way to go. You can bring your own food and drinks, you don’t have to pay for your suit case, you don’t have to go through all of the metal detectors. Your seating area is more comfortable then a plane or charter bus. You can get up and walk around, there are dining cars, and tables if you wanted to play like a card game. Plus, you have a place where you can plug in your computer, DVD player, or cell phone. No more dead batteries here! Sit back, relax, play games, watch movies, or read a book or check out the scenery.

I enjoy chugging down the tracks(chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-click-clack-click-clack-whoo-whooooooooo). It is really cool because you get to see all the back lot of cities and towns. Not all of it is pretty, but it is very cool to go from hills, cows, fields, to old train stations, apartment buildings, roads, little houses with clothes drying on lines in the yard, to city townhouse with broken cars in the over run back yards. You’re going over hills, around bends, sometimes through tunnels, all the while staring out of HUGE windows. It makes you appreciate the diversity of our county.

The last train ride I took was from Lynchburg, VA to Penn Station Newark, NJ. I was visiting friends and we were going to run the 5k Mud Run. It’s a fun race if you haven’t tried. My friend dropped me off at the station, and while waiting to board the train, I was chatting with a conductor. I had already gotten my ticket, had my one giant bag, and was waiting in the slow line to board. After asking questions, what about I cannot remember, I found a seat. They don’t really have assigned seating on trains. It is first come first serve, or at least where I sit it is.  After we left the station the friendly conductors asks everyone for their tickets. They punched a hole it in, make a little note of your end destination and continue up the isles. I sat back, read a book and took a nap.

Our first big stop was in Washington DC. There was a short layover while they changed engines. I was meeting up with one of my new friends to go run the race.

No, I did not pee my pants.

The other day I got up early, put on my knee braces, took two puffs of my inhaler, and headed out with a crowd to run four miles. It was a local race to raise money for a local charity. It was very hot already at 8am. We started off the first mile by climbing over a bridge. This was just a dose of the rest of the race of various hills and bridges winding around a small city. Not cool man, not cool. Along this race, they had water stops every mile, which was awesome. By mile 3, they handed out a new surprise of cold wet towels to wipe your face, put on your neck and help you feel less like you’re going to pass out. I had never been to a race that had done that. It felt so nice. When I crossed the finish line, they were handing out more towels of heaven. Of course I took one to enjoy.

I wandered over to the coolers to grab some chocolate milk, water, and a snack and found a patch of shady grass to relax with my beverages and towel. I sat sipping on my drinks, learning to breathe like a normal person again, and enjoying the cool wet towel now sitting on my head. Once my drinks were empty, I stopped panting like a dog, and had removed my knee braces, it was time to find my car. As I stood up and looked down, I realized it look like I had peed my pants. Before putting the towel on my head, I had been holding the cloth over my lap, not thinking about the fact it had been dripping wet. Wearing light brown shorts, where ever the water had touched was now a very dark brown. Great, just great. I thought about moving into the sun to see if would dry my pants, but I didn’t want to take that time or get hot again. I did catch a small break. There were some people passing out some re-useable bags that were decent size. So I asked for one, threw my knee braces and snacks in it and wandered off to find my car awkwardly holding the bag more over the front of my pants then to the side like it would normally hang.

Moral of this story: Wear black pants to all races or when handed a cool wet towel, keep it on your head, shoulders or neck, never ever over your lap.

These Aren't New

The other day I was at work, running on no energy, no sleep, and at this point my brain was in the process of trying to figure out the best escape route from my head. Is it though the nose or the ears? If you go Egyptian style, they would say nose.

I went over to one of my tables and asked if they would like some more bread. They were like sure. I kindly asked them if they could pass me their bread board, I’d bring them a new one. Now holding the breadboard in my hands I look down, and go, well actually they aren’t new. We’ve had these for a while, but I can get you another one. I had a confused look on my face, they started to giggle. There was no recovery from this word vomit. I shrugged and walked away get some more bread.

Fly on the Wall

There is a saying that goes, I would love to be a fly on a wall in that room. This is usually used when people are getting in trouble or interesting information is going on that they would like to know about. If I was a fly, and I was sitting on a wall, where would I want to be?

My first thought would be the White House or UN, but I feel like politics would put me to sleep, I’d fall off and be stepped on.

Next thought was a comedy club, but just as much as I’d laugh I’d probably also cry. Not all comics are actually good.

If I went to a factory that sold cookies I’d get really fat, slow, and they’d try and kill me for sanitation reasons.

Hospitals can be very depressing. You have people in pain from breaking bones, people crying for the loss of loved ones or getting diagnosed with some kind of diseases or cancer. Then you have the labor and delivery floor where you have women and babies screaming. No thank you.

Wedding venus would just be too stressful. Seeing the bride yell at people, or cry for no reason, people walking around in clothes that don't really fit well, pretnding to say hi to relatives they don't really know anymore. No thanks.

Factories are too loud and busy.

I was thinking some kind of child care center where little kids are always playing, painting, running, jumping and having fun. There little rambling and light of discovery still in there eyes. It sounds perfect until one of them falls down and skins their knee. Then it is tears and wailing. Nope, I’m going to pass.

Malls would be great for people watching. However,  sometimes seeing people wear spandex when they shouldn’t might blind a few of my eyes.

Going to a gaming company like Blizzard might be fun but too many games causes’ people to become violent. Yeah, video games, that’s the reason……..

I think the best play for me would be in some kind of no kill animal shelter. I’d be able to watch puppies and kitties all day. If I was bored I could go sand buzz around them and get them to chase me. They have some fun toys like balls and bells. Yes, I think an animal shelter would be a good place to be a fly on the wall.

It may change, but today, this fly would like to play with puppies and kitties.