Go Fish

I had some girl friends over the other night. The topic wound its way around from dinner, to Thanksgiving, to puzzles, to random things, and of course to boys.  This topic comes up frequently but we discussed something I hadn’t really pondered on in a long time.  

Everyone knows the classic stand by line for people who have just broken up with someone, or something didn’t work out, they say “There are always more fish in the sea,” which I followed up with, “but if you keep using the same bait you’ll keep catching the same thing.”

Conversation ended for a moment as they both pondered this. I don’t always listen to myself when I talk so I actually pondered this with them. I’m like Alice from Alice in Wonderland, “I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.” Or in my case listen to it.

If this saying is broken down, there are always fish in the sea, this is correct. The sea or any big body of water is teeming with life. There can be hundreds of species in the a very small area. Check out anything on the Discovery channel or Nature show. However, if fishing on a lake or a river or in the ocean and the only bait being used is worms, there are only so many fish that will want to eat the worm. Sharks cannot be caught with a worm.  

Stop and take a moment and think about how this has been played out before. The beautiful sweet girl that keeps dating jerks that treat her like crap. The nice guy who keeps dating controlling bitches. The guy who keeps dating drama queens,  just to name a few.

Now, part of the dating is just exposure to the different kinds of people. If the area being fished is a river and the hopes are for a shark and not a bass, this is not going to happen.  

But what I’m pondering is the best most controllable issue here, the bait. Or in this case me. How, if I am tired to dating and hanging out with the jerks and the assholes, can I attack something else? How does one change from a worm to something the shark would eat, like a croaker or eel?

I could do the Hollywood thing and change my hair, wear contacts instead of glasses, put a dress on instead of sweats and bam, new woman. (She’s All That the movie, if you’re wondering what I’m talking about.)

However, that is only surface deep, and it might attack the shark, but it won’t keep the shark.

So what to do? I think the answer is to learn from the past fishes that have been caught. I think the only way to change who is going to be attacked, yes, I’ll admit might have a little bit in what I wear, and a little bit about where I’m fishing, but I think most of it is how I to change the bait, or in this case, myself.  
 

How to change the bait would be the biggest question. I don’t think going and running and changing all the things that I normally love to something else is the answer. I think it is more of accepting who I am, a 26 year old that loves stuffed animals to name one thing. I think the transformation from worm to croaker completed by learning from every relationship, both, good, bad and indifferent. By learning the likes, dislikes, deal makers and breakers all which evolve me into the person I want to be. Thus, attracting the sharks and not the fishes.

The law of attraction states that like attracts like. If I like myself, than the others will too. If I respect myself than other will too. If I’m not an ass hole, let’s hope that I wont attack ass holes either. By learning and growing and eveloving so does our bait and hopefully, the fish in the sea we can catch.  

Let’s get the lines ready and see what we can catch this week.