Taste like Fire

Picture cutorsey of  xedos4 at freedigitaldownloads.net

In the spirit of the end of football season, I wanted to tell a little tail that I shall remember most fondly from this past football season.

It was dark and calm night. I had just finished soccer practice and called up a friend to and decided to stop by her house all sweaty, stinky and gross for a social visit.

I come in to  her house and find everyone, at the start of this past football season rocking their Redskin jersey's. Alright, what's going on I ask. She informs me that it is the first pre-season game. Alright, well everyone looks great in their matching jerseys and the house smelled great. I believe it was because of the pre-seasons game.

My friend informed me that football season means chili, and she had just made some chili.

I should note that my friend and I have very different opinions of what is hot spicy. However, having been a partaker of her chili before, I know that for every spoonful of chili I usually need about two to three bites of corn bread. I know the drill, so I sit down for some good food, great people, and to pretend to know what is happening while football is on.

This chili is hot. Even her husband, who like her, enjoys hot things say this is a bit warm. About three bites in I think I'm starting to break a sweat. However, I was hungry, even though it was kind of like eating fire, it was still good.

Half way through the chili my friend starts to talk about her day and what she did and how it went. She explained she had gone to the farmer's market downtown and bought the peppers. She also proceeded to tell me that she bought some unknown peppers. The farmer had thought he had bought something else, but when it grew up, it actually ended up being these unidentified peppers, that were now in the chili, which were now in my belly.

I was a champ and ate 3/4th of this chili and probably about a pound of corn bread. More food, conversation, and the game ends and I take me exit.

The next morning I get up, get ready for work and receive a text from my friends husband. He has been up for about two hours or more before I was, his digestive track must have already kicked in for the day. The text said something about needing a cold rag on his butt hole.

Oh God.

This cannot be good.

I took comfort in the fact that I probably ate half of the amount that he did, but alas it still didn't help.

Right on schedule, after my morning coffee, and getting caught up with the day's task the familiar rumble seems a bit more omniscient.

Let's just keep it semi decent and say that if it wasn't for that warning text I would have thought I was dying. Everything felt like it had turned to lava for it wanted to leave my body. For the second time the chili made me sweat.

So I've learned two very important things this past football season:
One - If your friend tells you about unknown peppers being added to the chili, stop eating the chili immediately.
Two - If it tastes like fire going in, then it will feel like fire coming out. Just remember that for next time.